After A Thousand Years
by Mango-llama
Summary: Immortals Merlin, Morgana and Mordred all live together in a dusty London flat. Chapter 4: Merlin wants to know how Morgana and Mordred are still around, and Morgana fancies an old fashioned battle. Crack. Future Modern Fic. Oneshots. Formerly titled 'Blackmail'. Implied Mergana, Merdred, Mormor, MerxMorxMor
1. Blackmail

The open-plan London flat was cluttered. All around the room were slung books, unwashed cutlery and plates, and clothes of both male and female. The flat held a musty, comfortably and welcoming feel with the distinctive impression of 'home'. Rain pattered against the window and somewhere in the background the sound of a microwave humming drew out from the kitchen.

From the kitchen appeared a tall, dark haired woman dressed in an over-sized blue shirt with a pop-art TARDIS on it, over-sized because it was in fact Merlin's shirt, and baggy checked pajama bottoms that scuffed on the floor, too long for her legs. Her hair was casually mussed and thrown over one shoulder and her face was down turned: her attention on her phone, which she cupped in her slim hands.

She shuffled across the faded blue carpet towards a black haired man flopped across a worn down, pale green sofa. He wore similar nightwear to her, only a light blue dressing down was loosely thrown around his shoulders and his large feet were protected by thick mismatched socks.

"Shift" Morgana muttered, tapping Merlin's feet.

Without another word, Merlin adjusted his position on the sofa so that there was room for Morgana. His head was buried in 'The Hunger Games'. He'd read it before, roughly eight times before, but the tale never got old.

Morgana dumped herself down and tapped her iPhone screen. "Guess what..."

Merlin's hummed questioningly.

"I've got another follower! That's eight hundred now!" Morgana announced with pride. God she loved the 21st century.

The warlock cocked a brow and shifted, arching his back over the armrest of the sofa and reaching out to a small desk dominated by paper and an empty pizza box. Shooting Morgana a secretive look, he plucked his own phone out from under the pizza box and tapped in the code with his thumb. Morgana watched with a frown.

"You bastard!" She gaped, slapping his knee as he smugly held up the Tumblr screen for her to see. 1,002 followers.

"People like my blog" Merlin shrugged in mock nonchalance.

He looked back at it, casually rechecking the various fandom updates and scrolling through his dash. Suddenly, a notification popped up. He clicked on it, curious.

Drarryforeverbitches is no longer following you.

"Spiteful..."

Morgana stuck her tongue out at him.

She looked down at her dash. Another notification.

DestinyIsDestiel is no longer following you.

"I'm texting Mordred" Morgana wrinkled her nose. "He'll unfollow you"

"No he won't"

"Of course he will. For me he will"

Somewhere in London on his lunch break, Mordred sat in Starbucks sipping a mocha and chewing on a blueberry cookie when his phone bleeped. And again. And again. After wrestling with the zipper on his jacket, Mordred drew out his phone. Three text messages.

'Unfollow Merlin for me. :) ' - Morgana.

Mordred rolled his eyes. Nine centuries, nearly an entire millennium and they still managed to do this.

'If Morgana tells you to unfollow me and you do, I'm taking my Supernatural boxsets back' - Merlin

'If he threatens you with the boxset, you can borrow my Sherlock boxset AND the Two Towers blu-ray' - Morgana

His phone bleeped again, just as he was reading Morgana's last message.

'Unfollow me and I'm selling yours AND her flight tickets to San Diego' - Merlin

Mordred's jaw dropped. No. He'd been looking forward to Comic Con for too long for Merlin to just... sell them to some pathetic mortal.

'Your X-Box is looking very flammable right now' - Morgana

"What! No! Ugh, that's not fair" He shouted at his screen, aware of the looks he was receiving from the other customers.

'No more Nandos Wednesdays' - Merlin

'I'm finishing off the macaroni cheese right now. I'll save you some if you unfollow Merlin' - Morgana

Mordred bit his lip and groaned.

Back in the flat.

One notification.

"I think we went to far" Merlin stated, staring at his phone and then at Morgana's. During their 'fight' they had shifted on the sofa so that they were sat side by side with phones in front of them like guns.

The witch scowled at her screen. One notification.

"The little shit" She uttered, earning herself a hum of agreement from Merlin.

Eatingcheeseandspewingrainbo ws is no longer following you read on both their screens.

Merlin turned to Morgana "Wanna go see the Hobbit without him?"

"Yeah. We'll go while his Ikea shift is on" Morgana agreed.

* * *

**I might make this an entire series of oneshots of their lives living in the 21st century... depends if this is popular enough :D **


	2. Oswin Oswald

"She's evil" Morgana announced as the preview ended.

Along the faded green sofa sat three black haired immortals. Morgana sat curled up on the right end, with the remote and a cushion tucked under her arm, Mordred sat in the middle crossed legged and with a cushion wrapped up in both arms, and Merlin slouched on the other end with feet up on Mordred's crossed ones picking at the frayed seam of his own cushion.

Merlin and Mordred both snapped their heads to Morgana, who had begun flicking back through the channels.

"How can you say that?" Mordred asked, brow creasing. "She's the Souffle girl"

Morgana snorted and looked at them. "I was right about Dr Yana wasn't I?"

"And Morgana would know about evilness" Merlin said under his breath, earning himself a grin from Mordred and a smack from Morgana.

"I was never evil, you just disagreed with my methods" She replied airily, lifting her chin. "But seriously, she's too perfect. There's bound to be a catch, Moffat likes fucking with us too much for there not to be one"

Mordred pushed off Merlin's legs just as the two elder immortals began arguing and made his way into the kitchen of their open plan flat. On the table was stacked all their gifts to each other, and from various mortals they had befriended in this era. With a contemplative frown, Mordred sifted through the pile of chocolate: half of it was Merlin's, the man had a freaky obsession with the stuff, and most of the rest was Morgana's.

A voice carried around the corner to him. "You can have the Turkish delight"

Mordred smiled brightly and found said bar. "Thanks, Merlin"

"'You can have the Turkish delight' You never let me have your chocolate." Morgana's higher voice countered. Mordred unwrapped the bar and idly ate it as he flicked the kettle on.

"That's because you have your own hoard"

A snort. "I save it that's why. Mordred practically ate all his before the wrappers were off. It's not becoming to gorge"

"Says you who gave yourself brain-freeze eating too much Ben'n'Jerry's when Sherlock died" Mordred poked his head around the corner. He dodged a cushion.

"He's not dead! Did you not see him alive?" Morgana exclaimed in a shrill voice. "Right at the end! After poor John sobbed his little hedgehog heart out over his grave"

The kettle finished. Mordred brought down three cups and stuffed two teabags in the teapot, and one spoon of coffee in one of the mugs.

"That was mean. I still can't believe he did that" Merlin noted, shaking his head. "Oh wait, go back"

"Hm? That? Strictly Come Dancing? Really, Merlin?"

"No, again- Just, ah give it here"

Mordred gathered up the mugs and teapot, and reentered the main room just in time to see Merlin launch himself at Morgana, and for the pair to scramble for rights of the remote. With a cocked brow, Mordred set the drinks down: blinking at the TV as he did so.

Merlin and Morgana froze at the same time as the channel changed with Mordred's blinks.

"One day you have to show us how you do that" Merlin sulked.

Mordred shrugged. "Saw it on X-Men"

"I refuse to watch Last Stand. S'a shit film" Morgana uttered, furiously pressing the buttons on the remote. She screamed loudly as Merlin once again attacked her for it, and the pair fell to the floor.

"How do you know it's shit if you've never seen it?" The former knight asked as he calmly stepped over his companions and snuggled up back on the sofa. With another blink, the screen finished on a showing of 'The Polar Express'.

"I don't want to watch this, I don't understand it" Morgana whined. Both she and Merlin had given up and merely lay on the floor staring up at the TV. "And according to Merlin, it was a disaster"

Merlin kicked Mordred's knee. "Mordred, change it over"

Mordred shook his head and poured the tea with his mind. "Merlin's opinions on films are crap"

The remote smacked him perfectly on the forehead. He blinked.

"Says he who told me M. Night Shyamalan's Last Airbender was a good watch" Morgana shouted back, crawling back up onto the sofa. "Merlin get off the floor"

"No, I like it down here. Away from you two" Came a muffled reply.

Morgana rested her feet on his back. "Fine but I get to use you as a foot rest" She glared at Mordred. "Merlin's taste in films are far better than your own"

"Thank you, Morgana" Merlin said, a mixture of sarcasm and genuineness.

Mordred shook his head. "Need I remind you of the Hunger Games"

"That was a brilliant film" Morgana said puzzled.

"You were sobbing through the whole thing!"

"Primrose's screams were heart-wrenching... and only those with no heart didn't cry when Rue died"

Merlin lifted a hand "Morgana likes films that make her cry"

"Like Bambi" Mordred scoffed.

"Shut up and give me my tea, peasant"

* * *

**I've decided to make this an ongoing thing XD Updates will be whenever I get the inspiration and will all contain randomness that might not always make sense. **

**In terms of shipping, this story will include various references to Merdred, Mergana, MorMor, and most of all this strange threesome thing. After a thousand years they're just so comfortable with each other that things like intimacy and personal space are odd concepts. It might be platonic, but I think after all this time there really is no label for their relationship. **

**Some chapters might include references for flashbacks to earlier eras, but for the most part it will remain in the 21st century. Feel free to post suggestions and requests :)  
**


	3. Stalkers, Chess and Stepping on Snails

"But you're mortal enemies!" The woman screamed, looking at each of them in turn with wide, horrified eyes.

Merlin pinched the bridge of his nose, Mordred looked up at the ceiling for strength and Morgana smirked, leaning in close to the woman.

"We're not mortal" She whispered conspiratorially.

As it turned out they had not been as careful as they had originally thought. The woman before them was an Arthurian 'expert' who had been tracking them- or rather stalking them- for the last forty years of her life. Aged twelve she met Morgana for the first time as Morgana was posing as a singing teacher called Moira in the sixties. Eventually Morgana, Merlin and Mordred all moved on, and the woman, Tanya, went on to study medieval literature: specialising in Arthurian tales.

Thing then got interesting when her university professor was Merlin. A man she had seen near ten years prior as a guitar teacher called Daniel alongside his sister Moira and younger brother George. After that she became obsessed with keeping track of them, and at even managed to become Mordred's sixth form English Literature teacher in the 90's.

And now, at long last she had intercepted them. She'd got them cornered in their own flat. How had the three greatest magical beings in existence come to this?

"He killed Arthur! You and him hate each other! You're living in a flat together like a bunch of bored teenagers!" Tanya yelled, her tea spilling as she trembled.

Mordred lifted a finger. "I am a teenager. And after one thousand, five hundred and fifty two years, you try fighting boredom"

The three sat in a line on the faded green sofa, while Tanya sat in front of them on the rarely used one seater. When she had turned up at their door shrieking about how she knew who they were, and shoved a file full of photos and various pieces of evidence from the last forty years in Merlin's face, they had let her in and given her a tea to calm her nerves.

"But you hate each other" Tanya emphasized.

Merlin groaned "That was centuries ago. No one cares anymore"

"You don't care that he killed Arthur Pendragon?" Tanya jabbed a finger at Mordred, who rose his eyebrows at her.

"Of course I do, but that was how long ago? What the fuck am I meant to do about it now?" Merlin asked her. Either side of him, Mordred and Morgana winced. If Merlin swore, things were getting serious.

Tanya pursed her lips. "If I've gotten this right, then you are the great Merlin, he is the murdering bastard Mordred, and she is the Morgan Le Fay"

"Le Fay" Morgana cackled, burying her face in Mordred's shoulder.

"- As I was saying. You three are not meant to be friends. Anyone that knows anything about the Arthurian legends knows that you, Merlin, are meant to-"

"To what?" Merlin interrupted again. "Believe me when I say we still hated each other with a passion for about four hundred years, and we thought up some pretty imaginative ways to kill each other-"

Morgana tapped Merlin's shoulder, mouth quirking in amusement. "Do you remember when Mordred managed to throw us both off Niagara falls?"

Tanya gaped at them as the trio began reminiscing about past murderer attempts. Even the most violent and gruesome tales were met with hysterical laughter and 'Oh I miss those times'. The stories ranged from Morgana stabbing Mordred in the eye with a carrot- a personal favourite of Mordred's, who found the entire thing hilarious- to Merlin being pushed into a volcano by Mordred, to Morgana dying in a rather eventful game of chess against Merlin.

"You... You're all so..."

"Tired?" Morgana offered.

Mordred added "Bored"

"Stuck in an ageless limbo of killing each other, sleeping with each other and watching the world forever change and pass us by" Merlin finished.

"Forgive us for not holding onto grudges dating back to nearly two thousand years ago" Morgana told her in a bland tone. "When you're granted unwanted immortality, you try staying angry at the two people in the world who could possibly understand"

Merlin got up out of his seat and walked around Tanya. With a nod to the others, Merlin put his hand on Tanya's head.

"What are you doing?" She asked, frozen in fear and alarm. "Are you going to kill me?"

Morgana rolled her eyes. "No. Killing mortals lost it's touch a long time ago... it's like kicking puppies or stepping on snails... Makes you feel really bad afterwards..."

"We're just going to wipe your memory of us" Mordred reassured her with a wide smile and a gentle tap on the hand.

Tanya opened her mouth to protest-

* * *

_Four years later._

Tanya frowned, staring at the three young people on the other end of the shopping isle waving at her madly.

She waved back trying to work out who they were, why they were waving at her, and why they all looked so amused.

* * *

**Posted in response to a review I got stating that I'd turned the three of them into bored 21st century teenagers, who could be anyone and that I'd trivialized the deep set rivalry between Merlin and Morgana by making them bicker about Tumblr followers.  
I figure that after 1500 odd years, you wouldn't really like life very seriously anymore. After being around for that long, you've got time to waste bickering about Tumblr followers because what else can you do? You're not going to die, you've no real need for mortal friends who are just going to die anyway when you've got two others just like you, you don't really need a decent job because you used to live in a tent in the forest, or in a tiny little shack where some days you just had to go without food, modern ideas of poverty are somewhat different. I can't imagine even Morgana and Merlin can stay angry at each other for 1500 years... **

**Anyways! Thank you for all the lovely reviews on this story, and I've read all your suggestions and have a few ideas on how I'm going to write them :D **


	4. Battles

_673 Years Ago_

Merlin stabbed his sword into the soft earth, and looked over at Morgana and Mordred.

The last priestess was idly picking dead leaves and dried blood off her skin and dress and out from her hair, and Mordred was flopping down backwards, hand on head as he groaned.

Merlin stared at them, trying to muster some hatred but fell short. He was too curious and the question had been nagging him for centuries.

"How are you two here?"

Morgana hummed, making sure to look down her nose at him. "What?"

"You two" Merlin pointed to them both. Around them, houses burned and distantly, people ran screaming about wrath of gods. "I've always wondered but I never asked... How are you alive? I saw you get killed by Arthur, and I stabbed you myself"

Mordred wiped some sweat from his brow. "I'm not sure, all I remember is climbing out of the ground and having some rocks fall on my head. There was some kid there too, gods she screamed... never seen someone run away so fast"

"That's because I buried you. In my defense you were dead, its not my fault you came back" Morgana said, combing her fingers through her hair. "As for me I lost a bet"

The men blinked at her.

"You... lost a bet?"

"Yes, I gambled with something beyond your feeble comprehension and unfortunately lost" Morgana confessed, although it clearly pained her to admit her own defeat before her enemies. "What about you, mighty Emrys?"

Merlin narrowed his eyes at her sarcasm and shrugged. "I'm Emrys"

Silence.

"Fair enough. I'm going home, see you two later?" Mordred offered, hoisting himself up. Merlin and Morgana nodded, bidding him farewell.

The pair watched as Mordred walked a few paces, before disappearing in a dust of wind. After a few moments, they turned to each other.

"He's a strange one isn't he?" Merlin noted.

Morgana nodded. "Yes, quite" She caught herself. "But this doesn't change anything, Emrys! I still loathe you beyond words, not a single utterance can do my hatred justi-"

"I'm going, I'm going" Merlin held his hands up in a peace sign, taking a few steps back and, as Mordred had, disappearing into the wind.

Morgana stared at the spot Merlin had disappeared from and then crossed her arms. "Why don't either of them listen to me anymore?"

* * *

Now.

Morgana stared at the sausage on the end of her fork. Beside her and opposite her, Mordred and Merlin happily ate their food, barely noticing her sudden melancholy.

"I fancy a battle" She said, popping the bit of sausage into her mouth.

Merlin looked up, mouth stuffed, and made a sound not unlike 'Huh'.

"A baggle, ge nevah ag baggles ang-ge-more" Morgana mourned around her chewing. Mordred peered up at her, body slouched over his meal like Gollem over the ring. He looked over at Merlin, and the pair shrugged while shaking their heads.

Neither knew where this had all come from.

Merlin swallowed his mouthful and put down his fork. "We can't really have battles anymore Morgana... Twenty-first century and all that... it was bad enough in 1954"

"That wasn't me though, that was you two" Morgana pointed her fork at each of them in turn. "You left me out of the last proper battle, I still can't believe you did that... I would love a battle, I really feel like having one but in this godforsaken century the only battles going on are ship wars or wars we are forbidden from engaging in"

One of the few rules the three immortals had was a restriction from involving themselves in the affairs of mortals. Such things included marriage, wars and major political disputes. All three had united against slavery- Merlin having practically been one himself, Morgana having been kept in appalling conditions for two years and Mordred because of his early life spent as a persecuted Druid- but found they weren't allowed to stand in government against it. The Gods of the old Religion and New prevented them.

An immortals life is to be spent outside mortal life, in every way possible.

Morgana flinched as a wet, bean juice covered sausage was flicked in her face. Outrage crossed her face as she stared, wide eyed at Merlin. He grinned at her, and scooped some mashed potato onto his fork. He barely had time to release it when half a fried egg splattered over his nose and mouth.

Mordred gaped as the two greatest beings in all of ancient Brythonic history, and arguably very important beings in the entire world, threw their dinner at each other. A dinner which he had cooked for them. He huffed.

Casually, as though picking up a book, Mordred balanced his plate on his hand and swung it around. Mashed potato, beans, sausage and egg was smashed into Morgana's face: the food ran down her neck and into her top. When Mordred moved the plate, Morgana had a mask of mashed potato entirely covering the left side of her face.

He set the plate down calmly. Mordred looked over at Merlin, whose jaw was hanging with eyes wide.

"M...Mordred..." Merlin whispered.

Slowly Morgana lifted up her hands and wiped the food off of her face. Then, she opened her eyes and turned to Mordred.

She picked up her own plate and with a stony expression, tipped it over Mordred's head. For good measure, she rubbed the mash and beans over his face and combed it through his hair. She then wiped her hands clean on his shirt.

Mordred stayed still as she did this, knowing he deserved it.

Merlin started laughing. "You, you know those baby photos? Where the little kids have food all over their faces? You two look like that"

He ducked as Morgana's orange juice was thrown his way.

* * *

**Sorry it's been so long since I've done anything for this story, real life has hit me hard. I will try and get more chapters up! For those of you that also read 'Cross My Heart' there will be an update soon, possibly in the next few days or so. :) **


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